Friday, May 16, 2014

Wallowing Without Food

Well, the diet isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.  At the same time, I'm miserably lonely.  When everyone is talking about barbecues, or after work drinks, I wish I could cry.  Normally I leap at the chances to enjoy these events, but since I cant partake in the festivities, it's totally depressing.  I know deep down, in order to get where I want to be, I have to make these sacrifices.  Or else, I may continue with my life as I have been, perfectly represented by the meme below:

I just have to keep reminding myself that the sacrifice isn't more than a drop in the barrel in the scheme of my life.  Would I rather have these 5 beers, or be able to teach my future children how to ride a bike?  Are these cheese fries necessary, or would I rather look back on my life at 80 years old and smile about how much I've seen?  I know these type of rationalizations sound totally over the top, but at some point, I have  to think like that, and why not now?  I could say yes to these 5 beers, or cheese fries, but if I do every time, I'll never make any progress.  There is always another special occasion.  Once I hit my goal, I have more wiggle room, literally and figuratively, to pick and choose my cheat moments.  But I have to hit that goal first.  By then, I will have learned a large amount about nutrition, and myself, and I will have earned it.

I managed to go out to dinner with my Mom and Sister last night.  I ate my chocolate shake (delicious, if I do say so myself), while they ate their meals.  As big of a bummer as it is, it wasn't too difficult honestly.  I was proud of myself.  I'm still proud of myself.  The cherry on top was that at the end of the evening, I had enough energy, AND motivation, to do some exercise with my boyfriend.  Amazing!  Normally, I would be totally pooped and just want to smoke some weed (gasp!), eat a snack, and go to bed.  

Something like that, yup!  But, I just exercised, showered, and went to bed instead.  And the best part about it was....I had such a great morning!!  I was so motivated because I proved that I can change my lifestyle.  Now, I will try to build off that motivation, and in one months time, I already know my life will have done a 180.  It will be amazing, and I will be more happy than I've been in years.  This weekend will be a giant test, because it's my first weekend on the diet, but here goes nothing!!

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