Monday, June 16, 2014

I Swear--I'm Not Dying

That about sums it up.  Even though the ecard above rings true, I've totally neglected my wino side lately.  I guess the empty calories that come with drinking aren't quite worth the 3 hours of exercise it would take to burn them off.  I had an awesome weekend when it comes to exercise!  My boyfriend and I went out on a six mile walk, with a little bit of hiking mixed in.  I had never been on this trail before, so I'm sure all my fellow fat peeps can relate to being a little nervous for the unknown terrain.  My boyfriend, who is thin, told me it wasn't hard at all, and for the most part, it really wasn't.  He told me there would be a steep hill we would climb, but it wasn't that bad, and I believed him.

We came upon a hill, probably 50-60 yards long with a 50 degree incline that hurt a bit, but I got to the top.  I was winded, but it wasn't back breaking.  And so we walked on, I felt amazing that I had managed to move my body from one elevation to another relatively quickly.  Go me, that is what he warned me about?!  I am superwoman.  But my jubilation was crushed when I looked ahead, and that's when I saw it.  It loomed in the distance.  It wasn't a "little hill", like my boyfriend so graciously named it.  It was a serious hill, and it meant business.  It made the one I was so thrilled to have scaled moments ago look like an ant hill.  I may as well have brought my mountain climbing gear.  Feast your eyes on this monster, the yellow line shows the trail you follow:

Tons of people were going up and down it, on bikes, running, walking, and I thought maybe I was underestimating my stamina.  You have to realize that at this point, we had already walked about 3 miles, and I was truly worried that I wouldn't make it up the hill, and I would be that girl.  The fat one, that all the amazing athletes had to maneuver around.  But, that's when I decided they can kiss my ass.  I'd come this far, there was no way I would wither away and not even attempt it.  At least I'm trying, they cant knock me for that.

And so we began the trek to the top.  The incline wasn't as steep as the first baby hill, but the distance was much, much longer, probably 250 yards, at a 35 degree incline.  I began strong, taking each step and trying not to notice the burning sensation developing in each leg.  And then my breath got shorter, and shorter, it was so short I finally decided to stop and take a break.  People whizzed around me, but at first it didn't bother me.  I was only 1/3 of the way up at my first break.

I trekked on.  My boyfriend was almost done climbing the thing when I reached the 2/3 point.  But, my body was shouting for oxygen, so I took another rest.  More people were passing me, and I began to get self conscious of my inability to keep a constant pace.  Before I caught my breath completely, I pushed myself, step by step, to the top.  I MADE IT!


The only problem with not listening to your body, is that bad things can happen.  I was so out of breath, I felt like I didn't have enough oxygen sustain myself.  I felt the world getting dimmer, and everything was getting fuzzy.  I sat down on the only rock I could find, and tried to focus on breathing.  Nothing I did seemed to help, and the longer it went that I couldn't catch my breath, the more panicked I was getting.  The only thing worse about being so exhausted you are at the point of fainting, is having a panic attack simultaneously.  It was really horrendous.

I sat, with my mind focused on moving oxygen in and out of my lungs.  I finally felt less faint, and caught my breath, but the realization that we still had to walk back another 3 miles was a little overwhelming.  I guess what I took away was to not feel self conscious if I'm tired going up a hill.  Maybe I cant do it all in one go right now, but one day I'll be able to.  Just because people pass me, isn't worth nearly fainting and cracking my head open.  The other thing I took away from it is that when you are tenacious and have a goal, you can achieve it.  I never would have thought I could accomplish that, but I did, and I'm a better person for it.

The only thing left to do is weigh in tomorrow, and hope that all the hard work shows up on my scale.  Oh and also, do the damn thing again!

No comments:

Post a Comment